A Slowdown

14 Jun

Isn’t it amazing how you can plan to do this, then you plan to do that, and then you can’t make any of it happen because something else gets in the way?  I know that motherhood inflames this side-tracked lifestyle, but it definitely didn’t begin once the baby got here.  I’m having an incredibly difficult time managing to accomplish anything outside of work and mommyhood.  My days begin at 6:30am (7 if I get “snooze” happy) and last until after midnight most days.  I find myself having obligations that are near and dear to my heart and just seem like Mt. Everest to accomplish.  And these obligations don’t include pride and pleasure.

Freelancing, volunteer work, prior commitments…they mount up to an insurmountable bear that stares in my face from the time I open my eyes to the time I shut them at night in front of my computer while working to get a job checked off of my to-do list.  “A mother’s work is never done,” as they say. But I know that motherhood isn’t the only factor that is part of the equation.  I’m sure there are many readers that aren’t moms or dads that are having the same difficulty. I know there were times BC (before Charlie) that I was this overwhelmed, or even more so. I’m just having such a hard time finding the hours in the day.  I’m wishing there was a temporary off switch where I could enter a state of total carefree euphoria.

Well, I’d love to extrapolate more of the issue here, but I have a meeting.  <groan>

As Dierks Bentley said, “I’d settle for a slowdown.”

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3 Responses to “A Slowdown”

  1. Grace June 15, 2010 at 10:46 AM #

    You are just one person with a finite amount of time. Look at all your commitments. What is the most important? The sacred work that God has given you to do is to take care of Charlie and support Jared. This is sometimes not inspiring or exciting. It includes going to work, doing dishes, changing diapers and other mundane tasks. What has helped me do these tasks, instead of looking for other, more high profile work, is that when I do these things I am doing God’s will and giving him glory. (I think I learned this from Luther, the man himself.) Then look at all the other things that take your time and maybe you will have to whittle them down at this time. I have also learned that being a mother gives me more stamina. The longer I was in this position, I found that I did some tasks with ease which at first seemed overwhelming. You keep going; You are normal. I love your posts, they make me feel normal too.

    • anniefrey June 15, 2010 at 5:43 PM #

      Thanks Grace, things pile up slowly but all of the sudden it’s like you can’t remove things from the pile faster than they continue to heap! Your advice is sound and I will take it to heart!

  2. Jane June 15, 2010 at 6:14 PM #

    Being a parent is one of the most time consuming, under appreciated, highly rewarding job anyone can take on. It is also one of the most difficult because it is something we learn from watching others, by trial and error, listening to everyone who has an opinion on the subject (my favorite are those who don’t even have kids)and sometimes just by doing what feels right. I never took care of a baby before Jessica was born, the only babysitting I ever did was always with older kids. Then they handed me this little bundle all wrapped up in pink and said okay it’s been 48 hours time to go home. Then six months later while I am still trying to get the hang of this whole new job I am back at work. Yet I don’t just return to work, I return to 9-to-5 with mandatory overtime. Having been raised by parents, who like your grandfather, had very strong work ethics I felt like I had to give my job 120% as well.

    As a math major, I knew that 120% for Jessica plus 120% for Mark plus 120% for work plus 120% for Church plus 120% for outside activities wasn’t adding up to 100% of me. Did that stop me? No. That is why the term Supermom was coined. I admit that it can apply to a father as well, but their is something about the woman’s more nurturing nature that makes us want to do it all.

    I told you once that I was not going to give you advice because what worked for me won’t necessarily work for you but I do want to share something with you that I have learned, especially given some of what I have been through as a parent.

    1.) The more children I had, the easier it got. When we had Jessica if the pacifer fell on the floor you sterilized it, by Paige you followed the 5-second rule. By the time Todd was born, he would eat his breakfast at he swimming pool during swim team practice, lunch at the karate studio and dinner at the dance studio. I could drive and feed a baby at the same time. You learn to relax and accept your limitation and realize that as long as you are doing your best than there is nothing more you can do. Even though we are made in God’s image, we were not made to be perfect.

    2.) This is something that it took me a long time to learn and I wish someone would have knocked some sense into me before the going got rough. Yes you are Jared’s wife, Charlie’s mother, Chuck and Debbie’s daughter, the radio stations employee, a referee, volunteer, active member of church, etc, etc, etc; but what so many of us forget is that we are also human being with needs. If you spend your whole life trying to be everything for everybody and you don’t take time to be selfish and take care of you, then you will eventually be empty. To long of a story to go into here but your dad and mom know some of what I have been through with my family, one child in particular. I spent all my time fighting for my children’s rights and being everything for everyone else that eventually when we got past the hurdles we were facing I lost myself. As someone once explained it to me, it was as if I was a pitcher and everyone kept taking a drink until eventually I ran dry.

    So I guess the point of this whole comment is to say; relax and do what you can do. We are always the hardest on ourselves. You are and will continue to be a great wife, mother, daughter, employee, child of God as long as you realize that first and foremost you are Annie and that you also need to be a little selfish sometime and take some well deserved me time. The only one whole will judge you harshly for it is you yourself. Relax and enjoy because before you know Charlie will be getting married, just like my baby Jessica will in two years.

You read it, now share with me what YOU think :)

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