Prayer Request: An Expecting Friend

4 Mar

I could catalogue my day to day complaints in alphabetical order, by category, or by gravity.  At the end of the day, all that wasted breath would be demeaned to the same day to day stuff we all deal with.  Little things sometimes seem to add up to big problems, but when you examine them individually you realize how small each of them really are in the big picture.  And every once in awhile I’m reminded that there ARE big things in life. Big worries. Big complaints. Big reasons to align your focus somewhere between hitting your knees and bowing your head.

 

I want you to take a moment to read Rachel’s note.  I went to grade school and a year of high school with Rachel and she and her family need your prayers, big time.  And if Rachel’s anything like me, and from what I gathered we have this in common, patience is a struggle.  So if you have a prayer to spare, read ahead:

Today has been hard, and I want to share with everyone what we are going through right now. I am making this public because I believe in the power of prayer. I am not going to shy away and hide with hard problems in my life. I need emotional, spiritual and mental support from my friends and family, and I figured this would be the easiest way to get the message out to a large group of people.

Tim and I found out we were pregnant on February 9th. We were ecstatic, since we’d been trying for actually a couple of months, and I really didn’t think I was pregnant, but took a test. It was VERY positive even though I actually took the test early. We really love being parents and couldn’t wait to add baby #3 to the mix!

We decided that for fun, we would keep it a secret until we could get ultrasound pictures at my appointment today (with both of my previous pregnancies, we blabbed to everyone as soon as we found out). I was SO excited to get pictures from the ultrasound to put in a triple picture frame along with pictures of the boys to give to the Grandparents as a “surprise!” I also had a sneaking suspicion that maybe it was twins because the test was positive so early.

Well, today we had a doctor appointment and ultrasound. We didn’t really have much anxiety, although I was really curious if there was more than one! So as the ultrasound starts, immediately, I see two sacs…I thought maybe I just didn’t know what I was looking at, and then I see my midwife smile. She then says, “well, there ARE two sacs…” I grabbed Tim’s arm so tight and yelled, “OH MY GOODNESS, no way!” My heart was literally beating out of my chest! In excitement! Then I noticed she has to keep looking and looking and….

One sac is empty….she can’t find anything. At first, I’m thinking, “Eh, I’m only 7 weeks, no big deal, probably just hiding.”

Then I notice she keeps trying to focus in on the sac with a baby in it and starts saying things like” it doesn’t look like it’s formed right”, she “doesn’t see a yolk sac”, and there is “no flicker of a heart beat.”

I just keep thinking…”No…it’s just too early. She just can’t tell.” Then I see her face and I realize, she’s thinking this is not looking good.

Then she points out a THIRD sac! Much smaller than the others, and also empty. She says, “I don’t even know what that is, that’s strange.”

Suddenly I feel the emotions start to well up inside me. This is not right. Something is definitely wrong. She starts to say that “this is probably just an abnormal pregnancy.”

What does that mean? THREE sacs? TWO empty? One with a baby that doesn’t look like it’s even alive or forming right?

I realize she is being more serious, and starts talking about needing to get HCG blood tests right away today and then Saturday to compare, and she will call me Monday with the resultsThen on Thursday we will have a more detailed ultrasound with the ultrasound tech. And then she says if things don’t look good, she mentions the term that struck total horror into my heart: “D&C.”

I held myself together enough before we left the doctor’s office, but once we got in the car, I just broke down. This was horrifying. What do I pray for? 3 babies? 2 babies? ONE baby? I don’t even know! Is this just a weird thing? I just felt like I was hit by a truck and went from feeling every emotion to being totally blank.

I am trusting the Lord. I know He has a plan, and sometimes, it’s hard to understand it all.

So if you would PLEASE pray for us, pray that we are strong, that we don’t give in to fear and anxiety, that we trust the LORD over the doctors, and that the Lord gives the doctors clarity in this situation. I am believing for BIG things. I am waiting for a call on Monday that says that the HCG levels look GREAT. I am not going to let fear, “What-If’s” and anxiety take over my life. I can’t and I won’t. But I know it will be tempting. So this is why I am posting this and asking for you to pray for us throughout this next week as it will be VERY hard for us as we wait to hear what the doctor has to say.

And right now, my biggest fear (that I am praying against), is that during my ultrasound next week, the tech tells me that nothing is viable and I have to talk about having a D&C. My heart is literally in my throat just thinking about the anxiety I will have as I lay on that table, waiting for her to tell me the fate of my child/children.

Thank you all so much, each of you are such a blessing in our lives!

 

Psalm 46:10 – Be Still and Know That I Am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

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One Response to “Prayer Request: An Expecting Friend”

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  1. Prayer Request: UPDATE! « Common Composure - March 8, 2011

    […] you read my previous post about a friend who was expecting, I’m happy to […]

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